Five Years
by Saraconny
Summary: (Light) time traveler au.


**Arrow light Au: Time traveler au but still in canon verse**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Arrow nor any characters/names mentioned**

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><p><em>I love you.<em>

_I need you. _

_Don't leave._

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><p><span><strong>Year: 0<strong>

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><p>The first time he meets her he's twenty three and a bit tipsy from Tommy's party. So when a young woman materializes out of nowhere in front of him, he can't help but scream then fall on his ass as he tries to backpedal.<p>

He has enough wits about him to catalogue that she's pretty in the hot librarian way, with her blonde hair and glasses.

She sports a large grin and does a fist pump in the air. "Hello, Starling City! Wow- I really do do that."

She notices him lying on the ground and cocks her head to the side. "You're not Malachi Zee, are you?"

Somehow he manages to respond with a raspy, "Yes, I mean, no, I'm not him."

Her face pinches up in confusion. "The year is 1993, right?"

"No," he answers as he picks himself off the ground.

"Crap!" She checks her watch, mutters a curse, then wheels back towards him. "Um...try to forget you ever saw me. In fact, just forget this whole thing."

Her form begins to dissipate and she flickers once before she graces him with a nervous smile.

The next day he reasons he was more drunk than he thought, though he can't shake the feeling he's lying to himself.

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><p><span><strong>Year: 1<strong>

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><p>The second time is a bit better than the first. Neither of them expects to meet the other again, but he wouldn't have had it any other way when he walked into a cubicle with a bullet ridden laptop.<p>

He instantly recognizes her because she looks the same as the last time though she doesn't seem to have a clue who he is. And for some strange reason he prefers it that way. The idea of her not meeting the old him feels better.

When he lies she detects it, her head cocking in that same way as before, as if trying to decode him. However, she takes his lie, though with a grain of salt, her lips twitching in amusement.

He's seen plenty of impossible things unfold in front of him, but he can't come up with an explanation for what happened those five years ago. As he watches her salvage the remainder of the data, he wonders if he imagined the whole ordeal. Maybe he's crazier than he thought and the Island is distorting his memories. He doesn't like the idea that his control is slipping and dismisses the idea.

Once she's done he gets up to leave but before he's out of the room she calls out to him.

"Have we met before?"

He ignores her question, not being able to bring himself to lie to her about_ that._

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><p>When he has nowhere to turn he finds himself wandering back towards her. Their meetings turn into something along the lines of friendship. He can't help it. Despite what he had told himself, he can't keep his distance.<p>

She's like a magnet, the closer he gets the hard it is to pull away. There's something about her that makes him feel...full. As if the road he is on isn't as bleak and long as he thinks and there's only a few more steps to take until the end.

Somehow along that road he ends up in her mini and somehow she ends up joining his crusade. During the times when it's only him and her in the Foundry he wants to ask if what he saw those five years ago was real, but the words die on his tongue each time he tries.

One night, when Diggle is out with the flu, the question slip through his mouth.

"Felicity, do you have any special abilities you've never told us about?"

She peers over at him from her chair. "Um...I can eat two tubs of mint chip ice cream without getting brain freeze."

It isn't the answer he's looking for, but he takes it.

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><p>As he stumbles out of CNRI he holds back his choked sobs. He needs to get out of Starling. Needs to get away from Tommy. He knows it's a coward's act to leave the city when so many people need him. But he can't think straight, Tommy's last words blurring his vision.<p>

_Thank you. _The words are tearing into him like daggers. He has to leave. There's no other choice.

He climbs onto his bike and starts to peel out of the alleyway, nearly hitting a trashcan before veering out into the streets.

That's when he hears her voice. The comm still on. "Oliver?"

He doesn't reply but also doesn't turn off his comm.

"Oliver, I can save Tommy if you want me to."

He almost crashes into a wall but yanks himself to the right at the last second.

"If you want I can reverse this." There's a hesitance to her voice. A subtle catch of reluctance in her breath.

How, he wants to ask her. How and why are you just now telling me this?

As if she can read his thoughts she says, "I can travel back in time. I can save Tommy-"

He clicks the intercom off. He knows Felicity isn't one to lie or joke about something in this type of event, but still he lets the earpiece fall to the ground. Because if what she says is possible he knows if he turns back he'll ask her to do more than just save Tommy.

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><p><span><strong>Year: 2<strong>

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><p>He fiddles with the arrow, turning it so that it captures the light on the tip. It's time to turn a new page. He knows he can't keep on picking names off The List. No, he needs a different goal. One that will honor Tommy and everyone else he's failed.<p>

He hears the clicking of her heels against the cement.

"I wasn't lying," she says, her voice filled with conviction and honesty. "I can travel back in time. It was something I was born with. I know you probably don't believe me, but I can do it." She breathes deeply. "Please, let me show you."

He's about to say he believes her. He had wondered over it when on Lian Yu and had come to a similar conclusion. She's already beginning to disappear and flicker, but before she's all the way gone she begins filling out again and suddenly she's standing there with a book in her once empty hands.

"I just want to clarify I didn't think you were lying," he says before she opens her mouth. "And I also don't want you to change anything that's happened, no matter what."

"Why?" She asks confused. Why wouldn't he want to stop his oldest friend from dying? He'd asked that question plenty of times when he had exiled himself.

But just like that night six months before, the same reason floats up. If he takes that opportunity he'll start asking her to save Slade and Shado which would lead up to asking her to prevent him ever going on the Gambit. As badly as he regrets ever stepping foot on that boat, he knows that he's a better man because of it than he ever would have been otherwise.

So as he says the following words he feels as if he's making a promise both to himself and her.. "No matter what happens, Felicity, I don't want you to change a single thing."

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><p>They don't broach the subject again. He hadn't expected her to reveal everything to him, but she never mentioned the topic so he settled for what he knew. Life continued on as normal and he, Diggle, and Felicity worked smoothly and efficiently. Then Isabel Rochev happened. The disappointment rolled off of her in waves. The words he said after Russia still hang in the air between them.<p>

_Because of the life that I lead, I just think that it's better to not be with someone I could really care about._

He knows that she's attracted to him. The sexual innuendos and constant glances at him when he worked out were hard to miss. And he won't lie he didn't try to use that against her initially by pushing into her personal space when she had locked him into the Foundry. Key word being_ initially_. She picked up on it right away and threw it back in his face at full force. The message clear: I will not be a pawn for you to toy with. After that he never pulled a stunt like that again. But then his night with Isabel happened and now he is back in a relationship with Sara. And he can see it, the doubt flickering across her face. Wondering if she is of any use to the team, if she really was being played for a fool all along. He doesn't know how to reassure her, words have never been his strong suit, so he stays silent along with her.

Sara asks about the history between them. She's different from the Sara he was with on the Island. Darker, burdened under guilt, just like him. He can't help but think that's why they're together now. The darkness that had been eating at him last year has subsided, and he thinks maybe he can save her from her demons. Fix the wrongs he had done to her.

"She's just a good friend." He says quickly. Good friend, he repeats to himself. But then he remembers the look on her face when he had told her she was his partner. Partner. The word fits better on his tongue. Felicity Smoak, his partner.

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><p>He tries to quell the level of panic inside of him. It's the Undertaking all over again. But this time, he has a plan.<p>

"Oliver," she asks as he leads her by the elbow. "What are we doing here? The whole city's falling apart."

"I know." Of course he knows. He's the reason it's falling apart. He breathes out with a heavy sigh. "You need to stay here."

"What?" She turns around to face him. "Why? You can't just ask me to-"

He cuts her off. "I'm not asking."

She searches his face for answers.

"I will come and get you when this is all over." He walks back towards the doorway, hoping it's enough to convince Slade even though he knows it isn't.

Her footsteps follow him. "No! Not unless you tell me why."

"Because I need you to be safe."

"But I don't want to be safe! I want to be with you and the others unsafe."

This is going too far. He has to leave before he does something stupid. "I can't let that happen."

She wraps her fingers around his arms. "Oliver, you're not making any sense."

This is it. No turning back. "Slade took Laurel because he wants to kill the woman I love."

"I know." No, you don't. "So?"

Breathe in, breathe out. "So he took the wrong woman."

Her eyes widen in surprise, mouth going into an 'oh' shape. His grip on the cure tightens.

"I love you," and the truth spills out before he can hand it to her. He knows now that he loves her in a way he's never loved anyone before. He loves her, but right now he needs her.

"Do you understand?" He watches as any hope left in her eyes crumples as he places the cure in her hand.

"Yes." Betrayal flashes in her eyes, but it's gone in the next second. Understanding replaces it.

Th threat of never wanting to leave her side consumes him. He doesn't want to do this. Doesn't want to put her through this. Her eyes are searching him, looking for any other truths that may be lurking behind his eyes. With one last look, he tears himself away from her and heads for the doors, not stopping in his treks as he hears the sob tear through her throat before he closes the door to his family home.

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><p><span><strong>Year: 3<strong>

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><p>I love you.<p>

I need you.

Don't leave.

The thoughts repeat in his head like a mantra. In tune with the steadying beeps of the heart monitor.

I love you.

I need you.

Don't leave.

Diggle is putting away the paddles. Roy is disposing the bloody towels. He's sitting. Waiting.

I love you.

I need you.

Don't leave.

It's then that he makes his decision. That he knows he can't let his life affect hers any more than it already has.

She doesn't leave.

But he does.

And with one last longing look at her, he closes the door to them.

She understands. She always understands. But he can feel the moment her heart breaks. His was already in shatters two hour ago when he thought he lost her for good.

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><p>When her mother pays an unexpected visit he goes to her apartment. He'd been there twice before, already knows the layout in case an emergency were to happen.<p>

Her eyes are puffy, but she lets him when he holds up the bottle of wine. It's not as good as the one he had given to her almost three years ago, but it does ease the pain for a moment.

"You know, I tried to stop my dad from ever leaving us," she hiccups. "Tried to use my powers so he wouldn't leave." Her hair's down and looks as if she's been in bed all day. "Turns out it's genetics. Soon as I told him who I was he bolted. Never saw him again. Didn't use my powers after that because it seems nothing good comes out of them. Not with Cooper, or him, or mom. ..Well, not everything went bad. Got lost on the way trying to find him. That's when I met you."

He freezes. She pauses. Then they both reach for the bottle resulting in it being knocked over and spilling wine on her hardwood floor.

She groans before pouring the last remnants of the bottle into both their glasses. "That can wait for the morning."

They drain their glasses at the same time.

"You've got a dribble," she says, tapping the corner of her mouth. "Here, let me," she reaches over after his failed attempt of wiping it off, her finger sliding the drop off. His breath hitches and he's leaning forward, into her touch. Closing his eyes-

His phone rings and she lets her hand drop. He gives her an apologetic grin though on the inside he's screaming. Coming over was a bad idea. Letting himself get too close to her again.

He picks his phone up, the caller ID reading one of his lawyers.

"Hello?" He asks.

"Hello, Oliver this is Carl Francis. Listen, I know it's late, but there's an impromptu meeting about to take place. It could be the break we need."

Oliver sighs. "Yes, I'll be there in the next twenty minutes." He ends the call immediately after the last syllable comes out.

"I have to go, sorry." He's grabbing his jacket and shoving his keys back in his pocket. The pull to stay with her grows.

She nods her head, not looking at him.

"Bye, Felicity," he says, squeezing her shoulder.

Still she doesn't look at him. "Bye, Oliver."

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><p>"I love <em>you<em>. I need _you_. Don't leave."

The words stop him in his tracks, knocking the breath out of him. The conviction and truth in her words loud and clear.

She catches up to him, covering the distance between them. "Look at me, Oliver."

He complies and she's standing in front of him. Her glasses are crooked, strands of hair from her ponytail frame her face, cheeks aflame.

"I. Love. You." Each word is punctuated, in tune with her breaths. "And I know that you may not want to try _this_, but I need to say it. And it's so _confusing_, Oliver, you going one way then turning the opposite direction and _us_, it's consuming me. So I need an answer. Which way are we heading?"

His heart is hammering, beating erratically. Blood rushing. Senses filled with _her. _Her scent, the sound of her breathing, mouth pursed in worry.

He rushes forward, cupping her face as he smashes his lips to hers. She leans into him, mouth slanting against his as her fingers run through his hair.

This is it. This is his answer.

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><p><span><strong>Year: 4<strong>

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><p>Tears make running paths down her cheeks. He'd dying. Each breath coming out more shallows and painful than the last. He can't comfort her with words. The pain is too immense. All he can do is watch with heavy lidded eyes.<p>

"Don't leave, Oliver," she cries out. But there's nowhere else to go, they both know that.

She's cradling his head in her lap, her hands still trying to staunch the bleeding.

He doesn't want to leave. Not now. When he had gotten home he had always imagined he would die at the hands of an enemy. He was right. But that didn't ease the pain of the hopes he had developed recently because of_ her_; of leaving this world in peace.

His eyes are almost fully closed now. Her next words ring out in the darkness enclosing around him.

"I'm going to fix this, Oliver." There's a steely resolve in her voice. "I'm sorry, I know I promised, but the world needs you, Oliver."

Panic consumes him. He knows what she's going to do and he wishes he could scream at her. To stop her from reversing everything that they are now.

"I love you," she whispers it like a mantra as she lays a feather light kiss on his forehead before pressing one on his lips. Her voice breaks with each word. "I'm sorry, but I have to stop Malcolm Merlyn."

Don't go, he wants to say. Don't sacrifice us for me.

Gently she lays him on the ground, fingertips trailing his cheeks. "I love you."

And slowly she starts to disappear, taking them away with her.

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><p><em>I love you.<em>

_I need you._

_Don't leave._

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><p><strong><span>Year: 5<span>**

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><p>He fought for a long time to get her buried in Starling. Despite his team of lawyers, her mother was a stubborn woman with many tricks up her sleeve. When the court had made it's decision she had left with a twirl and coy smile, enjoying the publicity that came with your daughter being the one to defeat the Dark Archer.<p>

Nobody visits her anymore other than him and the rest of the team. She was in the nineteenth row on the east side of Starling Cemetery, although he had tried to get her buried privately.

"She deserves to be remembered," Diggle had said when he had seethed in anger over it.

There's only a few people in the cemetery today. The sun is melting into him and he takes moment to pause in respect before Tommy's headstone. _I'm sorry I ever lied to you_, he thinks and lays one of the two smoothed stones in his pocket on top of it.

He stops at hers. The second stone weighs heavily in his pocket as if already knowing its destination.

The grey marble has her name elegantly spelled out.

_Felicity Smoak. Beloved friend and hero. 1988-2015_

"Hey," he whispers. He wishes she had left him something to explain why two years ago she had taken Malcolm on alone. Because he knows she must have done something with her powers to defeat Malcolm. There is no doubt in his mind she didn't use her powers to prevent something worse from happening.

He remembers that day as if it were just yesterday. The roaring sound of what used to be Verdant as it crashed down to the ground. The smell of burning rubber as he raced down on his motorcycle to the rubble. Coming across Merlyn, who was ironically pierced in the chest with a bar, this time dead for good. Then coming across another form. She was gone by the time he had pulled her out of the razed building. "Felicity," he had screamed at her as he performed CPR. Pushing down on her chest. Checking for a pulse even though there wasn't one from the moment he got there. "Don't leave."

But he'd been too late. The only person who could reverse her death was dead.

"I know you broke your promise, but I like to believe that you didn't have a choice in the matter. It's selfish of me to say this because you saved thousands of lives, but.." He exhales slowly, the pain in his chest expanding with each word. "I wish you would've given me time to fix things between us. Because I really needed to say that I-I... I miss you."

He gently sets the second stone on the headstone.

"I'll be back tomorrow," he promises her.

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><p><strong>Author note: I was supposed to write another chapter for The Masks We Wear (Aren't Always Visible) but I forgot I had homework this weekend which I had procrastinated on. So, as a sorry, I have finished this fic I've been working on for a couple of weeks. Enjoy!<strong>

**To anyone wondering, when I put light au in a ****description, it means it won't be the sole heavy focus of the fic.**


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